I have lost cat Chicago. I rescued a cat off the street 4 years ago who was dumped. He was a senior already and approximately 14 at that time. I brought him and have kept him indoors since then. His name was Candy.
I have other cats and have had cats my whole life. I have never had the bond I had with Candy. He was so mellow, sweet, and well-mannered. He slept with me every single night since I got him.
A few days ago he started sneezing/ coughing blood. A little at first. Last night he was covered in it, his front paws and my bed. I monitored him throughout the night and barely slept and he slept.
Lost Cat Chicago Candy
This morning he got up and the same thing happened. It wasn’t a light amount of blood either it was a lot. And very thick. He was just lying there and not like himself.
I grabbed him crying and drove with him on my lap to the emergency vet. They said they could run tests to see the culprit but that it’s not a guarantee to save him since he’s 18 plus. Would’ve cost 2-3k to do full diagnostics.
I opted to euthanize him as I can tell He wasn’t himself and wasn’t feeling well. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I haven’t stopped crying all day.
Tonight’s the first night without him in my bed with me. I can’t get over the guilt I feel for putting him down even though he was likely feeling bad.
Every night when we go to bed I sing “You are my sunshine” to him. I held him and sang it in his ear telling him how much of a good boy he was and that I’m so sorry I had to do this and that I hope he forgives me and knows how much I loved him.
So, seeing him lay there lifeless was horrible I’m truly not coping well.
I’m a very big animal person and I do have other cats but I’ve never had this emotional closeness to any of my cats on this level as I have with Sandy. He was my other half and kindred spirit.
I can’t phantom this pain. Seeing him lifeless is haunting me. I paid to get him cremated so I can have his ashes returned to me in a few days and thinking of him laying in some cold drawer or room right now alone is killing me inside.
I don’t have family really or friends. I’m 30 and a single mom to my teenage son.
Candy was my friend, my baby, & my sweetheart.
I’m truly lost. He wasn’t just a cat he was my best friend and now I feel like a horrible person and I can’t cope with this dreadful guilt and sadness. Please if you have any advice to help me get through this I’m falling apart.
This is my worst nightmare. I knew this day would come due to his age I just never expected it to come so abruptly. I’m truly heartbroken and can’t eat or sleep.
They let us know when it’s time to let them go across the Rainbow Bridge, but they stay with us in so many ways. Always.
So sad to hear. Sorry for your lost!
That’s terrible that Chicago was abandoned when he was too old to defend himself. Some people have little to no compassion.
Thank you Mary k. Doyle
I completely understand that the choice to euthanize, even if it was necessary, was a very hard one
Our pets become full members of our family
I am with you 💞
Always sad…
It’s sad ! We love our pets very much and we don’t want to lose them.
My heart goes out to you. My wife and I had to make a similar decision earlier this year and we both wept. They trust us to feed them, pet them, clean them, and love them. The ultimate act of love is to give them a quiet calm exit rather than suffering through a long painful demise. The emptiness you feel is a measure of the love you gave. If you resist the sorrow you may be resisting the love as well.
Thanks
I hate to say I “LIked” this post but only because it reminds me of beloved pets we’ve lost. The old saying about having such wonderful, four-legged family members is true. They give us countless days of love and comfort and one truly terrible day at the end. It’s best to remember the good ones.
You are accurately said, thanks for reading and evaluation the inner words